We are not super humans.

This is one of the things one would realize while serving God for a long time within a ministry. We get tired and frustrated and eventually start to hate one another. This happens even among leaders.

I am blessed to have my cousins in the ministry with me. I’ve always been proud of them. But then came this rift between me and one of my closest. I guess we both hid bitterness and frustrations–maybe for different reasons. We were both stressed out and thought bad things about each other… and other people.

Last night, forgiveness came. I made up with a cousin and we texted the whole night and agreed we are both so AMPAW (synonym of WEAK and HELPLESS) and realized we only really need to be strong in the Lord. We both know God is in control of circumstances.

When I sent him the first text, I told him I have nothing to be proud of in front of God but I have a responsibility as a part of this ministry to let him know what I will have to go through. I was expecting a cold reply. But I wanted to let him know that I never ever lost respect for him just as he may have thought. And indeed I got the cold reply. But minutes later, he sends the same message, but added a few more lines of text about his realizations. And there came forgiveness fresh from the oven.

I have a lot of questions going on right now. Things like “when will this turbulence inside me end?” and “who among all these people surrounding me are my true friends?” But there are those people you know are there for you and will always be in your list of the TRUEST. They are those with whom you may have a rift or a gap with from time to time but you know will never leave that list.

We go through different circumstances in life. We don’t know what really goes inside each and every other person we encounter. I am going through a difficult one right now.

We are mere humans. We don’t have super powers that let us be invisible when our enemies come or fly to where no one can reach us when we want to isolate ourselves or turn into sand when we wish to hide.

We get nervous, angry, stressed, frustrated, cold, bitter, and every feeling else that every other human feels. The Bible itself tells us we are not to be exempted from all these things that have to do with living in this world.

The thing that God revealed to me is that when we feel these things, we don’t have to suppress them inside of us to keep our beautiful Christianly package. We were designed to express and in expression, comes the control that comes from the Spirit. We will explode if we keep these feelings to ourselves and eventually find it hard to seek control.

My cousin gave me this verse last night: 1 Corinthians 15:58

“Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.”

It is difficult being human. Much more if you’re a Christian human. But the thing that we must always bear in mind is that we are mere humans and God is God. He has everything beyond the limits of our weak human capacity.

Forgiveness came. Hopefully, my own peace of mind is next.