Of God and Superhumans

We are not super humans.

This is one of the things one would realize while serving God for a long time within a ministry. We get tired and frustrated and eventually start to hate one another. This happens even among leaders.

I am blessed to have my cousins in the ministry with me. I’ve always been proud of them. But then came this rift between me and one of my closest. I guess we both hid bitterness and frustrations–maybe for different reasons. We were both stressed out and thought bad things about each other… and other people.

Last night, forgiveness came. I made up with a cousin and we texted the whole night and agreed we are both so AMPAW (synonym of WEAK and HELPLESS) and realized we only really need to be strong in the Lord. We both know God is in control of circumstances.

When I sent him the first text, I told him I have nothing to be proud of in front of God but I have a responsibility as a part of this ministry to let him know what I will have to go through. I was expecting a cold reply. But I wanted to let him know that I never ever lost respect for him just as he may have thought. And indeed I got the cold reply. But minutes later, he sends the same message, but added a few more lines of text about his realizations. And there came forgiveness fresh from the oven.

I have a lot of questions going on right now. Things like “when will this turbulence inside me end?” and “who among all these people surrounding me are my true friends?” But there are those people you know are there for you and will always be in your list of the TRUEST. They are those with whom you may have a rift or a gap with from time to time but you know will never leave that list.

We go through different circumstances in life. We don’t know what really goes inside each and every other person we encounter. I am going through a difficult one right now.

We are mere humans. We don’t have super powers that let us be invisible when our enemies come or fly to where no one can reach us when we want to isolate ourselves or turn into sand when we wish to hide.

We get nervous, angry, stressed, frustrated, cold, bitter, and every feeling else that every other human feels. The Bible itself tells us we are not to be exempted from all these things that have to do with living in this world.

The thing that God revealed to me is that when we feel these things, we don’t have to suppress them inside of us to keep our beautiful Christianly package. We were designed to express and in expression, comes the control that comes from the Spirit. We will explode if we keep these feelings to ourselves and eventually find it hard to seek control.

My cousin gave me this verse last night: 1 Corinthians 15:58

“Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.”

It is difficult being human. Much more if you’re a Christian human. But the thing that we must always bear in mind is that we are mere humans and God is God. He has everything beyond the limits of our weak human capacity.

Forgiveness came. Hopefully, my own peace of mind is next.

Sleeeeeep

Lately i’ve been lacking sleep. It’s like each time I wake up in the morning, I’d find myself blurting out “That was it?” I’d usually have to drag myself out of bed because my back just seems to want to stick to it the whole day.

My parents have just been really sweet. Mom prepares my lunch to take to the office each day except Fridays. And there are mornings when I’d hear them just outside my room asking out loud if they should be waking me up or not yet. They just completely understand how tired I am.

And sure enough, I am tired. Not to mention I seem to get easily depressed by some things. But the one thing that keeps me going is how I know God has something beautiful in store for me and the people I care about… And even my dogs… each day. The strength he provides is extraordinary. His grace is so immense.

Though it is sometimes hard to get up coz my body just makes it so, my heart and soul is always grateful for another new day to experience God’s goodness.

And I can sleep with peace… Knowing God watches over me and is wrapping up another surprise when I wake up.

Posted by Wordmobi

36 Christian Ways to Reduce Stress

1. Pray

2. Learn to praise God wherever you are and whatever the circumstance.

3. Go to bed on time and get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.

4. Say “No,” to projects/activities that won’t fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.

5. Delegate tasks to capable others.

6. Simplify and un-clutter your life.

7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)

8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.

9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don’t lump the hard things all together.

10. Take one day at a time.

11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you to do and let go of the anxiety. If you can’t do anything about a situation, forget it.

12. Live within your budget.

13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.

14. K. M. S. (Keep Mouth Shut.) This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.

15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.

16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.

17. Get enough exercise.

18. Eat right.

19. Get organized so everything has its place.

20. Listen to a podcast while driving that can help improve your quality of life.

21. Write thoughts and inspirations down.

22. Everyday, find time to be alone.

23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don’t wait until its time to go to bed to try and pray.

24. Make friends with Godly people.

25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.

26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good “Thank you Jesus!”

27. Laugh.

28. Laugh some more!

29. Take your work seriously, but yourself not at all.

30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).

31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).

32. Sit on your ego.

33. Talk less; listen more.

34. Slow down.

35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.

36. Every night before bed, think of one thing you’re grateful for that you’ve never been grateful for before or that you always forget to thank God about.

——
Original Post

Attitude

by Rev. Chuck Swindoll

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think, say, or do.

It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.

We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you. We are in charge of our attitudes.

IT’S NOT IN THE GUITAR

Last Sunday, we trained a bunch of youngsters who wanted to join the Worship Arts Ministry. We had a number of excited young people who wanted to learn how to play the guitar and drums, dance, and sing.

I’ve been part of the ministry since I was very young. At one time, I was even the youngest in the team. Eventually, more people got involved and the party people grew in number. It has become so much more fun!

On the second week of May, our church was finally able to put up a satellite service in one of the hardest-to-reach barrios in our town. A family volunteered to turn their home terrace into the temporary church and there have been about close-to-a-hundred attendees since we started. There are also new equipment that have been raised for the glory of God. One of our friends donated his drum set too.

Everyone is excited about our new outreach—even if there’s so much work to do and lots of sacrifices to make. The small sacrifices include having to get drenched in the rain sometimes, taking some of the instruments back & forth, or back riding on the motorcycle sitting sideways because you’re wearing a skirt and having to bear that not-very-comfy position for the whole 10-Km ride (because you forgot your pants in the bag you left with mom). And then, there are the bigger sacrifices—really big ones.

When we came face-to-face with the youth—with all the squirming anticipation in their eyes—we also had to come to our own realizations about our personal service to God.

HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE WE WERE THAT EXCITED ABOUT BEING IN THE MINISTRY WE WERE CALLED FOR?

I go to practice every Saturday, prepare lineups when I’m assigned to lead worship, jam with the musicians until we perfect the songs and shifts, go out bonding right after and happily go home to prepare for the next day’s Worship Service.

We are excited to commune with God, yes, but most probably not as we were when we first started. Whether we admit it or not, there are many things about what we do every weekend that have become routines for most of us.

Being in the ministry for this long–from being the youngest to now standing as one of their “ate’s”—has surely toughened me up. I have become fierce enough to talk about mistakes and other things to my younger (and even older) friends. Being a servant of God certainly brings out the toughie in you.

When it was my turn to talk, I shared with the youth some of the things we need to survive the “ministry challenge”. I told them it’s as simple as keeping these 3 things HIGH: IQ (Intelligence quotient), EQ (Emotional Quotient), WQ (Worship Quotient)

A high IQ means a high level of skills. We have to keep trying to get better as time progresses. This is trying to be excellent in the craft you have chosen or enhancing the talent God has given you.

A high EQ means being tough… no matter how discouraging the situations are or what people say in front of or behind you. It also means being open to corrections… no matter HOW the corrections were delivered to you (’cause it’s not always going to be in the nicest way).

A high WQ means remembering to look up–that we are not playing these instruments or singing or dancing just for the sake of doing these things or to become very popular with our peers. We are doing these to WORSHIP THE KING OF KINGS and LORD OF LORDS.

Facing these new “ministers” allowed me to look back to how I was when I was in the same boat as they are now. I want to be just as charged up as they are. We had a great time with them. We laughed together, joked around, and shared what we know.

My team mates and I love to have fun and enjoy our moments together but we have been through so much and known one another so well throughout these years. This is how this new team will probably be in the years to come.

I pray that they keep it up no matter what happens, now knowing that serving God is the greatest calling ever… and the most fun too! It’s not in the guitar or drums or voice or the moves—It’s always what’s in the heart. It’s always about having a heart that is always enthusiastic to worship God.

Just like them, we “oldies” (and I don’t mean in “age”) still have lots to learn ourselves in our Christian walk—things that have to do with how to get along well with our brothers and sisters—but it always helps to go back to the basics and remember that everything begins with the love of God.

“Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” 1 Corinthians 15:58

PLAYGROUND

Minsan isang araw ng Linggo, nagpunta ako sa Mercury Drug kasama ang isang kaibigan. Malakas ang ulan at kinailangan kong magsuot ng kapote. Nakasakay kami sa motorsiklo.

Pagdating sa drugstore, naka-hakbang na ako sa loob na suot ang kapote nang biglang hiniyawan ako ng guwardiya, “HOY! Ano ba yan? Nababasa ang sahig o!”

Nagulat ako at siyempre napahiya ng konti. Okay, I mean marami. Maraming pagkapahiya.

Akala kasi namin ng kaibigan ko, pwede nang hindi namin hubarin ang kapote dahil sandali lang naman kami doon sa loob. Isa pa, ineexpect namin na handa sila sa mga papasok na mga taong galing sa ulan. Maghapon nang umuulan noon.

Hindi kasi ordinaryong kapote ang suot ko. Mahirap alisin dahil parang jeans at shirt ang style nya at todo-butones. Malaki pa sya sa akin. Pangsagupa talaga sa ulan. Ubos-oras ang pagtatanggal. Baka nga mas matagal pa akong naghubad nang kapote kaysa bumili ng mga dapat bilhin. Pero dahil napagalitan ako, syempre lumabas nalang ako ulit.

Nang tanggalin ko ang kapote, sabi ng kaibigan ko, “Hindi ka kasi mukhang kagalang-galang dyan, ate. Nasigawan ka tuloy.”

“Ah ganun ba?” ang sagot ko. Natawa lang ako. Akala siguro ni Manong Guard lalaki ako. Nakatago kasi ang buhok ko at may nakasukbit na helmet sa siko. Para akong construction worker. At para akong basang sisiw na construction worker. Very unglamorous. Tsk tsk tsk. Wag lang mabasa nang ulan.

Oo nga ano? Napaisip tuloy ako. Kapag naka-office attire ako, kahit saang establishment ako pumunta, aba napakagagalang ng mga guwardiya! Hindi nila ako hino-HOY!

Hmmm. Nasa damit ba talaga ‘yon?

Pagpasok ko ulit sa loob, hindi yata ako nakilala ng guwardiya dahil naka-smile na sya. Mukhang girl na kasi ako. Di ko sya pinansin dahil medyo masama pa ang loob ko sa pagkakasigaw nya sa akin. Hmpf, napahiya talaga ako!

WOW!

Paglabas namin sa Mercury, maraming mga batang lansangan na nakasilong. Sa lugar kung saan kami nag-park ng motorsiklo, may isang lumang payphone booth na mayro’ng teleponong sira.

Naaalala ko tuloy noong nasa elementary palang ako at bagong lipat kami sa Bulacan, madalas kami ni Mama sa phone booth na iyon. Tumatawag kami kay Papa sa office nya at kina Mama Fina at Father sa Loyola… hmmm.

Naputol ang pagre-reminisce ko dahil biglang sumigaw yung isang batang lansangan.

“WOW!”, sabi niya. Seven years old siguro sya.

Nakita ko syang nakatayo sa harap ng phone booth at nakatingin sa teleponong sira. Tinawag nya ang isa pang batang ka-edad din nya halos. Sabi niya, “Tignan mo o, may telepono pa tayo dito!”, sabay hagikhik. Doon kasi sila magpapalipas ng gabi sa gilid ng phone booth.

Lumapit naman ang isa at sabay silang namangha sa sirang telepono.

Kanina lang magkaaway ang dalawang batang iyon. Pinag-awayan nila ang piso. Matinding away. Parang wala nang bukas. Pero nang oras na iyon, tuwang-tuwa silang nilapitan ang telepono at naglaro. Parang walang nangyari. Tulad ng title ng paborito kong awit, “Like It Never Happened”.

Para sa kanila, playground lang ang buong paligid…kahit wala silang matinong damit na maisuot at kahit nag-aagawan sila sa barya. Hindi pa kasi nila naiintindihan na komplikado ang buhay… lalo na ang buhay nila.

MASAYA

Napakasarap maging bata. Sabi nga ng pinsan kong junior pastor noong huling beses siyang magturo sa pulpito, sa mga bata daw ay hindi mahalaga kung sino ang tama at mali.

Mas mahalaga sa mga bata ang maging masaya at payapa habang naglalaro. Kaya nga daw kapag nag-away sila, maya-maya lang ay magkakabati na rin.

Hindi na nila binabalikan pa kung sino ang nagkamali at kung ano ang nagawang mali ng isa laban sa kapwa niya bata. Kaya din siguro sinabi ni Jesus na “the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these” (Matthew 9:14). Nakakamangha sila.

PAGPAPATAWAD

Ang buhay ay tungkol sa pagpapatawad.

Hindi naman siguro maganda kung lahat ng tao mananatiling bata. Pangit din kung isip-bata. Pero kung lahat siguro magagawang maging mapagpatawad tulad nila, yehey! Napakasaya!

Hindi nalang kasi barya-barya ang pwedeng pag-awayan at pagkasakitan ng mga tao. Mas matinding away. Higit pa minsan sa basagan ng mukha. Ang matindi don, yung durugan ng puso…at lamang-loob.

Madalas, tayong mga nakakatanda, hindi na nating naa-appreciate ang mga masasayang bagay na nasa paligid natin, tulad nalang halimbawa ng isang sirang telepono na pwedeng maging dahilan ng lubus-lubos na kasiyahan.

Dahil mas mahalagang ipaalam natin sa ating kapwa na tayo ang mas tama at mali ang ginawa nila sa nakaraan, natatabunan na kahit ang mga mabubuting bagay na ginagawa na nila para sa atin sa kasalukuyan.

Kailan kaya mas magiging mahalaga para sa atin ang maging masaya at payapa kaysa sa pagiging laging tama?

Madalas, kaya naman nating maging masaya at payapa pero sa isang iglap, gumagawa tayo ng ikasisira ng ating kapayapaan at kasiyahan… dahil lang gusto nating iparating na TAYO ANG TAMA at MALI SILA!

Mahirap magpatawad.

Pangarap kong maging mapagpatawad. Ang sabi sa Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Mahirap talaga pero sinusubukan ko naman. Iniisip ko nalang na LAHAT TAYO NAGKAKAMALI. Maliit man o grabeng pagkakamali iyon, palaging may space para sa pagbabago… at pagpapatawad.

PLAYGROUND

Madalas napapabalik-tanaw ako kung gaano ka-simple ang buhay noong mas bata pa ako. Marami akong hindi naiintindihan pero okay lang naman. Nakaka-excite ang pagdiscover sa mga bagay-bagay.

Pag nasugatan, iyak, Betadine at Band-Aid lang ang katapat. Pag inapi, si Kuya o Ate lang ang katapat. Pag walang pera, si Nanay o Tatay lang ang katapat. Pag nagkamali, eraser lang sa dulo ng Mongol ang katapat. Tapos, pwede na ulit tumawa.

Marami akong pagkakamali sa buhay ko at pwedeng hindi lahat yun ay mabubura ng eraser sa dulo ng Mongol.

Kapag nauubusan na ako ng panggastos, hindi naman ako basta-basta nalang makakahingi sa mga magulang ko. Nakakahiya na kasi.

Pag inapi ako, kailangan ko nang bumangon at ipagtanggol ang sarili ko. Pag nasugatan, andyan ang Betadine at Band-Aid pero pag mas malalim, pwede pa rin namang umiyak. Pero pag mas malalim pa dun, madalas mas marami pang iyak ang kailangan. Tapos, pwede na ulit tumawa.

Nung isang gabi ay naisip ko lahat ng mga kapalpakan ko sa buhay. Naitanong ko sa sarili ko kung ano kayang nangyari kung sakali mang ibang choices at daan ang tinahak ko. Aminado akong marami akong pagkakamaling nagawa.

Nang oras na iyon, nag-wish ako na sana may blackboard sa harapan ko at doon ko isusulat lahat ng mga iyon tapos buburahin ko nalang para malinis na ulit. Nakaka-guilty kasi. Nakakalungkot din.

Kahit gaano ko pa subukang magpakabait at bumawi, hindi naman lahat ng kalaro ko sa playground na ito, pare-pareho. Marami sa kanila ang nasaktan ko ng sobra. Marahil ang iba sa kanila, sadyang hindi na makakalimot… o baka matagalan pa. Ang mas mahalaga, napagsisihan ko na.

Sabi nga nila, unahin mo muna din daw na patawarin ang sarili mo. Susubukan kong palaging hindi na iisipin kung sino man sa amin ang tama at mali. Ang mahalaga, maging mapayapa at masaya.

Napatawad ko na si Manong Guard.

Ang buhay ay tungkol sa pagpapatawad.

Mabuti nalang at ang Diyos, mapagpatawad.

“Come now, let us reason together,” says the LORD.
Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.”

Isaiah 1:18

SI KUYANG BULAG

PAG-IISIP

“Bulag ka ba?”, biro ng kaibigan ko sa akin, sabay tawa nang malakas.

May itinuturo kasi siya na hindi agad na-process ng utak ko. Nakita ko naman pero sa hindi ko malamang dahilan, parang hindi ko naintindihan ang sinasabi niya nung oras na iyon.

Hindi ako bulag noh!

Sa isip ko lang sinabi ‘yon. Wala kasi ako sa mood na mangulit no’n. Parang kulang ako sa tulog. Pero di ko malaman kung bakit sa dinami-daming beses na akong biniro ng kaibigan ko nang gano’n, noon lang ako napag-isip nang mas malalim.

20/20 ang vision ko. Kahit sinasabi ng mga gumagawa ng eyeglasses na kailangan ko daw magsuot no’n dahil may astigmatism ako, parang ayokong maniwala. Sabi kasi ng kapitbahay kong ophthalmologist na huling tumingin sa mata ko, “Malinaw pa yan sa eroplano, iha!” Di ko naintindihan pero siguro ang ibig niyang sabihin, kahit napakalayo ng eroplano, pwede kong makita. Hula ko lang iyon at kahit hindi ko talaga alam ang ibig niyang sabihin, nagtitiwala ako sa kanya..

PAGBABA

Sa pag-iisip ko, naalala ko tuloy yung lalaking bulag na nakasabay namin minsan ng kaibigan ko noong unang lingo ng Disyembre sa MRT Station sa Buendia. Hindi ko sya makakalimutan. Noon ko pa gustong sumulat nang tungkol sa kanya pero ngayon ko lang natupad. Nasa harapan namin siya noong bumababa kami sa hagdanan. Magkahawak pa kami ng kamay habang mabilis na naglalakad. Male-late na kasi kami sa pupuntahan namin. Pero yung lalaki, mag-isa, mabagal, at may tungkod siyang hawak.

Habang bumababa, napansin naming mabagal sya at may sukat ang bawat hakbang nya. Noon ko na-realize na bulag pala sya. Nasilip kong wala syang suot na shades. Bare ang mga mata nya. Namangha ako sa kanya nang sobra.

Hindi man lang siya humawak sa railings. Sabagay, hindi naman niya siguro alam na may railings doon. Malamang may nagsabi lang sa kanya na pababa na sya. Pero walang tumutulong sa kanya. Mataas ang hagdanang iyon pero parang hindi niya kailangan ng tulong ng iba. Napaka-independent nya. Kinakapa lang niya gamit ang tungkod na hawak niya ang bawat hakbang. Kami naman, tahimik na sumusunod.

Parang sa sobrang pagkamangha namin, di namin malaman kung tutulungan namin siya. Sa oras na iyon, alam naming habang bumababa siya sa hagdanan ay mas makabubuting hindi na namin siya pakialaman. Alam niya ang ginagawa niya. Consistent ang bawat hakbang nya. Baka magulat lang sya bigla. Baka mahulog lang kami pare-pareho pag sinubukan pa naming siyang akayin. Pwede na sana kaming mauna pero pinili naming sundan sya.

PAGTAWID

Nakababa nang matagumpay si Kuya. Pero hindi doon nagtapos ang delikado niyang lakad. Kailangan pa kasing tumawid bago makarating sa sakayan ng jeep. At napansin naming doon siya nahirapan. Wala kasi yung pulis–pulisan doon nang oras na iyon.

May napakabilis na kotseng parating pero tuloy-tuloy siya sa paglalakad. Nagkatinginan kami ng kasama ko at mabilis siyang kumilos. Bigla niyang inakay si Kuya sa kaliwang braso. “Tulungan ko na po kayo.”, sabi ng kaibigan ko. Parang batang sumunod lang si Kuya. Hindi siya kumibo. Hindi siya nagpumiglas.

Napansin kong medyo nahirapan siyang maglakad dahil hindi niya malaman kung paano na niya ipangkakapa ang tungkod niya. Sa oras na iyon, parang bigla syang nalito. Hindi ko alam kung dahil hindi niya alam kung saan siya dadalhin ng nakahawak sa braso niya o dahil hindi lang talaga sya sanay nang inaalalayang tulad no’n.

Naging proud ako sa kasama ko. Habang naglalakad sila, nakatingin lang ako. Nagpahuli na kasi ako. Tuwang-tuwa ang kalooban ko nang oras na iyon.

Nang makarating na kami sa sakayan ng jeep, dahan-dahang binitiwan na siya ng kasama ko. Sabi niya, “Dito po ang sakayan. Ingat po kayo. God bless you po.” At sa nanginginig niyang boses, sabi ni Kuya, “Salamat.”

Hindi na kami kasya sa jeep na nasakyan nya kaya hindi namin nalaman kung saan sya papunta.

PAGTATANONG

Nang makasakay na rin kami, obvious ang pagka-ovewhelm namin ng kaibigan ko sa nangyari. Napakaraming tanong sa isip ko. Ang isa sa mga malakas kong nasabi:

“Hindi ba nasagasaan yung bulag na singer na si Willie Garte, yung kumanta ng Bawal na Gamot?”

Naalala ko lang. Na-hit-and-run yun. Hindi ko na maalala ang isinagot ng kasama ko pero parang pareho pa din kaming tulala. Tulala pero masaya pareho.

Saan kaya pupunta si Kuya?

Naisip ko rin, pa’no kaya ang buhay ng mga tulad nila? Napaka-vulnerable. Pa’no kung wala palang mabuting intension yung humila sa kanya?

Ang tapang ng mga tulad ni Kuya. Napakalakas ng pananampalataya nya.

Naalala ko din tuloy yung mga bulag na masahista sa Philcoa nung college ako.

Naisip ko rin ang tita kong hindi na halos makakita dahil sa Diabetes.

Naisip ko, ano kaya ang pakiramdam nang walang paningin? Ang ganda at napaka-makulay pa naman ng paligid.

Yun ang moment kung kailan nagpasalamat ako sa Diyos sa paningin ko at sa pagkakataon at pribilehiyo na makita ang lahat ng nilikha Nya.

PAG-IISIP

“Bulag ka ba?”, biro ng kaibigan ko.

Ang totoong dapat maging sagot ko, OO.

Madalas, bulag ako sa mga dapat kong nakikita…

Hindi ko naappreciate ang mga tao at bagay na dapat kong ipagpasalamat. Hindi ko napapahalagahan ang mga maliliit na bagay na ibinigay ni Lord sa akin o maging ang mga simpleng bagay na ginagawa ng mga taong nagmamahal sa akin. Laging mali nila ang nakikita ko. Laging yung mga hindi masyadong magandang ginawa nila sa akin ang binabalikan ko.

Bulag ako sa mga mabubuting pagbabagong nagaganap sa kasalukuyan. Laging nakalipas ang tinitignan ko. Laging sarili ko ang iniisip ko.

Bulag ako sa masasayang bagay na nangyayari na ngayon, dahil naghahanap pa ako ng mas masaya pa kaysa dito.

Lagi ko nalang inililibot ang mga mata ko kahahanap ng mas malaking mga bagay na dapat kong ipagpasalamat gayong nasa harap ko na ang mga bagay na dapat kong ikatuwa.

Laging negatibo ang pananaw ko sa mga ginagawa ng kapwa ko at hindi ko nakikita ang mga positibo–kahit pa mas marami ang mga ‘yon– dahil isinasara ko na ang paningin at pag-iisip ko.

Bulag ako sa pangangailangan ng kapwa ko. Lagi kong hinahanap ang makakapagpasaya sa akin pero madalas, hindi ko naiisip na kailangan ko din pasayahin ang mga taong nagpapasaya sa akin.

Bulag ako sa katotohanan na napakapalad ko sa mga bagay na mayroon ako sa kasalukuyan. Napakarami ko pang sinasabi pero madalas, simpleng “salamat” lang naman ang dapat kong sabihin.

Madalas nagbubulag-bulagan din ako sa maraming bagay…

Minsan, gusto ko lang makita ang gusto kong makita. Pinipili ko lang ang dapat kong pahalagahan.

Apathetic din ako minsan sa mga isyu sa paligid na dapat kong binubusisi at inaaksyunan bilang responsableng Pilipino. Takot din siguro ako sa maraming bagay na nakikita ko at naririnig. Di tulad ni Kuya na kahit hindi niya nakikita ang dinadaanan nya at alam nyang tiyak na may panganib, tuloy pa din siya.

Marami akong natutunan kay Kuya.

Si Kuya, walang paningin pero may focus. Bawat hakbang nya may sukat. Naisip ko, kung sumobra siguro siya ng one inch lang habang bumababa sya sa hagdanan, maaring nahulog sya. Pero hindi nangyari yun.

Sana ako rin may focus.

Mayroon lang sigurong isang aspeto sa bawat buhay ng tao kung saan KAILANGAN nating maging bulag. Naalala ko ung awit ni Freddie Aguilar na ni-revive ni Yeng Constantino–Bulag, Pipi, at Bingi:

Madilim ang iyong paligid
Hatinggabing walang hanggan
Anyo at kulay ng mundo sayo’y
Pinagkaitan
Huwag mabahala kaibigan
Isinilang ka mang ganyan
Isang bulag sa kamunduhan
Ligtas ka sa kasalanan.

Naisip ko, napakabuti talaga ng Diyos!

SI KUYANG BULAG

PAG-IISIP

“Bulag ka ba?”, biro ng kaibigan ko sa akin, sabay tawa nang malakas.

May itinuturo kasi siya na hindi agad na-process ng utak ko. Nakita ko naman pero sa hindi ko malamang dahilan, parang hindi ko naintindihan ang sinasabi niya nung oras na iyon.

Hindi ako bulag noh!

Sa isip ko lang sinabi ‘yon. Wala kasi ako sa mood na mangulit no’n. Parang kulang ako sa tulog. Pero di ko malaman kung bakit sa dinami-daming beses na akong biniro ng kaibigan ko nang gano’n, noon lang ako napag-isip nang mas malalim.

20/20 ang vision ko. Kahit sinasabi ng mga gumagawa ng eyeglasses na kailangan ko daw magsuot no’n dahil may astigmatism ako, parang ayokong maniwala. Sabi kasi ng kapitbahay kong ophthalmologist na huling tumingin sa mata ko, “Malinaw pa yan sa eroplano, iha!” Di ko naintindihan pero siguro ang ibig niyang sabihin, kahit napakalayo ng eroplano, pwede kong makita. Hula ko lang iyon at kahit hindi ko talaga alam ang ibig niyang sabihin, nagtitiwala ako sa kanya..

PAGBABA

Sa pag-iisip ko, naalala ko tuloy yung lalaking bulag na nakasabay namin minsan ng kaibigan ko noong unang lingo ng Disyembre sa MRT Station sa Buendia. Hindi ko sya makakalimutan. Noon ko pa gustong sumulat nang tungkol sa kanya pero ngayon ko lang natupad. Nasa harapan namin siya noong bumababa kami sa hagdanan. Magkahawak pa kami ng kamay habang mabilis na naglalakad. Male-late na kasi kami sa pupuntahan namin. Pero yung lalaki, mag-isa, mabagal, at may tungkod siyang hawak.

Habang bumababa, napansin naming mabagal sya at may sukat ang bawat hakbang nya. Noon ko na-realize na bulag pala sya. Nasilip kong wala syang suot na shades. Bare ang mga mata nya. Namangha ako sa kanya nang sobra.

Hindi man lang siya humawak sa railings. Sabagay, hindi naman niya siguro alam na may railings doon. Malamang may nagsabi lang sa kanya na pababa na sya. Pero walang tumutulong sa kanya. Mataas ang hagdanang iyon pero parang hindi niya kailangan ng tulong ng iba. Napaka-independent nya. Kinakapa lang niya gamit ang tungkod na hawak niya ang bawat hakbang. Kami naman, tahimik na sumusunod.

Parang sa sobrang pagkamangha namin, di namin malaman kung tutulungan namin siya. Sa oras na iyon, alam naming habang bumababa siya sa hagdanan ay mas makabubuting hindi na namin siya pakialaman. Alam niya ang ginagawa niya. Consistent ang bawat hakbang nya. Baka magulat lang sya bigla. Baka mahulog lang kami pare-pareho pag sinubukan pa naming siyang akayin. Pwede na sana kaming mauna pero pinili naming sundan sya.

PAGTAWID

Nakababa nang matagumpay si Kuya. Pero hindi doon nagtapos ang delikado niyang lakad. Kailangan pa kasing tumawid bago makarating sa sakayan ng jeep. At napansin naming doon siya nahirapan. Wala kasi yung pulis–pulisan doon nang oras na iyon.

May napakabilis na kotseng parating pero tuloy-tuloy siya sa paglalakad. Nagkatinginan kami ng kasama ko at mabilis siyang kumilos. Bigla niyang inakay si Kuya sa kaliwang braso. “Tulungan ko na po kayo.”, sabi ng kaibigan ko. Parang batang sumunod lang si Kuya. Hindi siya kumibo. Hindi siya nagpumiglas.

Napansin kong medyo nahirapan siyang maglakad dahil hindi niya malaman kung paano na niya ipangkakapa ang tungkod niya. Sa oras na iyon, parang bigla syang nalito. Hindi ko alam kung dahil hindi niya alam kung saan siya dadalhin ng nakahawak sa braso niya o dahil hindi lang talaga sya sanay nang inaalalayang tulad no’n.

Naging proud ako sa kasama ko. Habang naglalakad sila, nakatingin lang ako. Nagpahuli na kasi ako. Tuwang-tuwa ang kalooban ko nang oras na iyon.

Nang makarating na kami sa sakayan ng jeep, dahan-dahang binitiwan na siya ng kasama ko. Sabi niya, “Dito po ang sakayan. Ingat po kayo. God bless you po.” At sa nanginginig niyang boses, sabi ni Kuya, “Salamat.”

Hindi na kami kasya sa jeep na nasakyan nya kaya hindi namin nalaman kung saan sya papunta.

PAGTATANONG

Nang makasakay na rin kami, obvious ang pagka-ovewhelm namin ng kaibigan ko sa nangyari. Napakaraming tanong sa isip ko. Ang isa sa mga malakas kong nasabi:

“Hindi ba nasagasaan yung bulag na singer na si Willie Garte, yung kumanta ng Bawal na Gamot?”

Naalala ko lang. Na-hit-and-run yun. Hindi ko na maalala ang isinagot ng kasama ko pero parang pareho pa din kaming tulala. Tulala pero masaya pareho.

Saan kaya pupunta si Kuya?

Naisip ko rin, pa’no kaya ang buhay ng mga tulad nila? Napaka-vulnerable. Pa’no kung wala palang mabuting intension yung humila sa kanya?

Ang tapang ng mga tulad ni Kuya. Napakalakas ng pananampalataya nya.

Naalala ko din tuloy yung mga bulag na masahista sa Philcoa nung college ako.

Naisip ko rin ang tita kong hindi na halos makakita dahil sa Diabetes.

Naisip ko, ano kaya ang pakiramdam nang walang paningin? Ang ganda at napaka-makulay pa naman ng paligid.

Yun ang moment kung kailan nagpasalamat ako sa Diyos sa paningin ko at sa pagkakataon at pribilehiyo na makita ang lahat ng nilikha Nya.

PAG-IISIP

“Bulag ka ba?”, biro ng kaibigan ko.

Ang totoong dapat maging sagot ko, OO.

Madalas, bulag ako sa mga dapat kong nakikita…

Hindi ko naappreciate ang mga tao at bagay na dapat kong ipagpasalamat. Hindi ko napapahalagahan ang mga maliliit na bagay na ibinigay ni Lord sa akin o maging ang mga simpleng bagay na ginagawa ng mga taong nagmamahal sa akin. Laging mali nila ang nakikita ko. Laging yung mga hindi masyadong magandang ginawa nila sa akin ang binabalikan ko.

Bulag ako sa mga mabubuting pagbabagong nagaganap sa kasalukuyan. Laging nakalipas ang tinitignan ko. Laging sarili ko ang iniisip ko.

Bulag ako sa masasayang bagay na nangyayari na ngayon, dahil naghahanap pa ako ng mas masaya pa kaysa dito.

Lagi ko nalang inililibot ang mga mata ko kahahanap ng mas malaking mga bagay na dapat kong ipagpasalamat gayong nasa harap ko na ang mga bagay na dapat kong ikatuwa.

Laging negatibo ang pananaw ko sa mga ginagawa ng kapwa ko at hindi ko nakikita ang mga positibo–kahit pa mas marami ang mga ‘yon– dahil isinasara ko na ang paningin at pag-iisip ko.

Bulag ako sa pangangailangan ng kapwa ko. Lagi kong hinahanap ang makakapagpasaya sa akin pero madalas, hindi ko naiisip na kailangan ko din pasayahin ang mga taong nagpapasaya sa akin.

Bulag ako sa katotohanan na napakapalad ko sa mga bagay na mayroon ako sa kasalukuyan. Napakarami ko pang sinasabi pero madalas, simpleng “salamat” lang naman ang dapat kong sabihin.

Madalas nagbubulag-bulagan din ako sa maraming bagay…

Minsan, gusto ko lang makita ang gusto kong makita. Pinipili ko lang ang dapat kong pahalagahan.

Apathetic din ako minsan sa mga isyu sa paligid na dapat kong binubusisi at inaaksyunan bilang responsableng Pilipino. Takot din siguro ako sa maraming bagay na nakikita ko at naririnig. Di tulad ni Kuya na kahit hindi niya nakikita ang dinadaanan nya at alam nyang tiyak na may panganib, tuloy pa din siya.

Marami akong natutunan kay Kuya.

Si Kuya, walang paningin pero may focus. Bawat hakbang nya may sukat. Naisip ko, kung sumobra siguro siya ng one inch lang habang bumababa sya sa hagdanan, maaring nahulog sya. Pero hindi nangyari yun.

Sana ako rin may focus.

Mayroon lang sigurong isang aspeto sa bawat buhay ng tao kung saan KAILANGAN nating maging bulag. Naalala ko ung awit ni Freddie Aguilar na ni-revive ni Yeng Constantino–Bulag, Pipi, at Bingi:

Madilim ang iyong paligid
Hatinggabing walang hanggan
Anyo at kulay ng mundo sayo’y
Pinagkaitan
Huwag mabahala kaibigan
Isinilang ka mang ganyan
Isang bulag sa kamunduhan
Ligtas ka sa kasalanan.

Naisip ko, napakabuti talaga ng Diyos!

Abandon Myself

Ate Edith’s new song has truly inspired me and I told her about it.

I told her that at a bleak point in my life, where I have so many unanswered questions inside my head and I have felt pain that has been extreme, its like every song that I sing for God finds it hard to really break into my heart and make me “truly worship”. I just know that the kind of worship I have been offering has not been pleasing Him lately.

This song has spoken to me in ways I cannot understand. It ploughed my heart when the pain hardened it so much. I feel very blessed. Truly, God is our completeness. It is when we are emptied that we realize we are full for it is only then that God can fill us as much as He likes.

I will always cherish the encouragement that Ate Edith gave me at this “downtime” in my life. Here’s what she said:

” Abandon Myself is a very personal song to me. Honestly, I dont consider myself as a songwriter but only when inspiration comes. In this case, yes, I was inspired and the song just came out spontaneously during my devotion while in Sydney, Australia.

Testimonies such as yours are already the fulfillment of the purpose of that song. I thank and praise God for allowing me to be His instrument.

I pray you find courage and strength as you continue this journey. Truly there is no such thing as an easy road, but it is up to us on how to appreciate how God carries us through every step of the way.”

Abandon Myself

You are the one I adore
The one to whom I pour My love, my love
You are the one I worship
The one to whom I give My life, my life

You’re the reason I take my next breath
You’re the reason I take my next step

Refrain:
I follow you on the lead
And release my faith to believe
Embrace your purpose in me
I surrender my heart and my soul
And obey you, my king above all
Abandon myself to serve your call

5 Unanswerable Questions

(Romans 8:31-39)

1. “If God is for us, who is against us?” (v. 31)

Philippians 1:6, “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” The LORD God is not going to stop until; He has conformed us to the image of His Son.

“God is for me.” He is not hostile. God is for sinners who come to Him and receive His abundant grace. Since “God plus me is a whole person” what does it matter who may be against me. Our text assumed that the Lord is on the side of His people. Our confidence is in God alone.

God is for us in a way that produces His highest “good” in our lives and accomplishes His eternal purpose. Since God is for us, all things work together for our good.

No foe can prevail against people who are supported by a God so committed to His people. Since God is for us, what difference does it make who is against us? Here is encouragement and assurance in our times of suffering. “God + Me = A Whole Person.”

2. If God graciously gave His Son for us, will He not freely give us all things? (v. 32).

How can we be certain God will meet all our needs? We are certain because of His supreme act of love.

“He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?” (v. 32).

The cross proves the generosity of God. God gave up His most treasured possession in heaven for us (I Peter 1:18-19). Even though there exists a very special relationship between the Father and the Son the Father still “gave Him up for us all.” He graciously gave His Son as a free gift. Jesus reminds us in John chapter ten that this was also His volitional choice –– He gave Himself “for us.”

Since God has done the greatest thing in giving up His Son, how can He not now do the lesser things for us? This is the final guarantee that He loves us enough to supply all our needs. Is there anything He will not do for His church?

3. Who will bring any charge against God’s elect?” (v. 33)

Christ our Advocate pleads our case before the Father. Our conscience accuses us, the Devil never ceases, carnal Christians grumble, we blow it, etc. There has never been a shortage of enemies to make accusations against God’s people.

“Who will bring a charge against God’s elect? God is the one who justifies” (v. 33).

But God is the Judge and He has already acquitted me (v. 33). Since “God is the one who justifies” our justification can never be overthrown. He is completely satisfied in the righteousness of Christ. Second Corinthians 5:21, “He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” God has taken us to court to show us that there is no condemnation for those who are “in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). We now have peace with God (5:1-2).

And when we sin what should we do? God has provided a bar of soap for us and we should use it often! “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us” (1 John 1:9–10). As soon as we admit to Him that we deserve condemnation, He restores our fellowship with Him. Christ has already born our guilt and condemnation when He went to the cross and died for us. That is the only way to deal with sin. He is the friend of sinners –– saved sinners and lost sinners!

4. Who shall condemn us? (v. 34)

The only one who has the right to condemn us is Jesus Christ and He died for us!

A. T. Robertson well said, “Our Advocate paid the debt for our sins with His blood. The score is settled. We are free (8:1).”

5. Who will separate us from Christ’s love for us? (v. 35)

Jesus said, “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.”

Paul gives a list of struggles in the Christian’s life. Can life at its worst remove us from Christ?

“Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?” (Romans 8:35).

“Tribulation” is the strong pressures in life, like the treading of grapes in a winery. These are the pressures that burst and trouble us.

“Distress” is hardship, outward affliction plus inner stress, anguish. The word was used to describe being caught in a tight place between high rocks. Are you feeling like you have been caught in a tight place? Is life squeezing in on you? Do I write to someone who carries a heavy burden? Have you grown weary of life and feel beaten down by life? Have you come to the place where you feel like you cannot take it any more? Has life become an overwhelming burden to you? Jesus said, “Come unto me, all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Literally, He says, “I will rest you.” As we exchange our burden He gives us His rest.

“Persecution” is to be hunted down like an animal and killed.

“Famine” and hunger are brought on because of draught or persecution. Like the people in Jesus’ day we worry over what we will eat, drink, or wear tomorrow. Jesus said God would take care of the basic necessities in our daily lives. We worry because of a sense of inadequacy. Jesus said, “Seek first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matthew 6:33). When we seek first the kingdom of God we become super–conquerors.

“Peril” is danger of any sort. “

“But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us” (v. 37).

We are “super–conquerors” (hypernikomen). He doesn’t say we are copers, but super–conquerors. The word comes from nikao, meaning “to conquer, to carry off the victory, come off victorious,” and huper which means “above.” These “super-conquerors” are more than victors; they gain a surpassing victory. We are “more than conquerors,” “we are super–conquerors!”

“For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (vv. 38–39).

It is always amazing to me how God turns defeat and disaster into victory. He uses what we would call defeat to produce His ultimate victory in our lives. He accomplishes His goal through our suffering. He makes us more than conquerors through the suffering of the saints.

Source: http://www.abideinchrist.com/messages/rom8v31.html